At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize