But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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