The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
