sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
