dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
