pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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