So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
