the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Someone signed my nipple.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
