Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
