Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize