Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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