Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
