Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
