you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
