after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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