how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
worst night to have a conscience
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
