i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
