do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
