first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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