You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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