what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize