We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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