At least make sure they are 18
Why
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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