If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
