A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
