I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Buhtt sex?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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