you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
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