My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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