found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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