tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
