i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
