**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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