I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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