On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
