Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
