your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
