i think my tv is drunk
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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