I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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