Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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