I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
of course. lets lasso hookers.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
