dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
