dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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