They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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