I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
