I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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