Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
