is your mom at the bar?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
