we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
