im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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