it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he thought i was a dude.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
