He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
