im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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