i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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