And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize