You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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