So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
