theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
