Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
