no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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