As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
