my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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