Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
