We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
