I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize